Deep Down

Crawling deep down inside your heart.
Trying to find that glow of light.
There's some type of fog in the way.
A blur.
I need to find it.
I still believe that it is there.
The good in you that I'm trying to find,
Is sinking deeper and deeper.

But I won't quit my mission.
I'll keep being strong.
Hide all of the fears,
That I have of you.
I want to be,
the one that will be a memory.
This impact on your life.

I will find it.
I will catch it.
And I will change it.

I'll Say No

Whatever it takes
I'll fix it
Whatever it takes
I'll make it better

I know you well
I don't want to let you go
I'll fight through hell
to keep what we have

I'll say no
to every ignorance
to every eye roll
to every "Whatever."

When you don't want to talk
When you just want to walk
I won't let you go
I'll just say no.

I want to keep you here
to be by my side
everyone needs a friend
a helping hand

I want to be that hand
when you need it the most

Whatever it takes
never to lose it
Whatever it takes
I'll make it better

Mistake Lane

What is this that I feel?
You tore me apart.
Ripped open my heart.
All I thought was about you.
How I thought it was so right.
Now I wonder what you ponder.
And if you ever thought the same.
You were gone.
But you reappeared
Go away,
Leave now.
I don't want to deal with you anymore.
You make my days like hell.
I regret everything that has happened.
What did I do to deserve this?
Did I do something that hurt you?
Just tell me,
And it will all make sense.
I put a lot of effort into this.
And this is all it led to.
A mistake.
Now I feel like a chunk of wrong.
Feeling terrible.
Wanting to cry.
Do I feel like I want to go back?
Or am I holding this against you.
I don't know anymore.
I don't know anything.
Will this last forever.
Are you a scratch that will never heal?
A scar that's with me forever?
That is what I can't stand.
You in my memory.
There forever.
There to last.

Family

A really good friend wrote this for me when my Grandmother died.
I thank him for being there when it happened.

Family.
Family is everything.
There's a different connection,
With each and every member.
Everything is going smoothly.
Like it always has.
Then one day, it happens.
One of them vanishes
And you didn't expect it.
Didn't have time to blink.
You may think you are coping well.
But the reality of it will hit you.
And you will just breakdown.
But when you're feeling like it's the end of the world.
Remember...you always have someone to lean on.

Day Dream

I sit here and day dream,
About the things that I have done.
Was I right, was I wrong?
Was I happy and joyful?
Was I week... or was I strong.

Could I have done something different?
Most likely.
Would I change it?
Probably not.
I'd be too scared,
To find out what could have been worse.

I'm scared of the truth.
Something I can never handle.
But throw it at me.
It's probably for the best.

Did you ever feel anything for me?
Do it.
Say it.
Can't change anything anymore.
You lost me.
I'm through with you.

This

This
This is what I want.
This is what I'll hold on to.
It's what I crave.
It's what I love.
This is our hugs.
This is our kiss.
My head on your chest,
Some where to rest.
This is safe.
This is comferting.
This is love.
This is special.
This is what I'm in love with.
This is what lights up my world.
Every moment worthwhile.
This makes me smile.
This wipes away my tears.
This chases away my fears.
This is always here.
This is my dream.
This is my wish.
There's no way I'm letting go of this.
This.....is what I want.

The Sun

The sun is something I like to look at everyday.
It keeps you warm in everyway.

It fills my heart with laughter and joy.
It's like a big round yellow toy.

When you look at it your emotions are healed.
Your emotions are never sealed.

The sun is so big, bright, and yellow.
That you can never be mellow.

When the sun rays come through the clouds.
It makes me know that God is around.

If You Were Never Here

Wrote this a long time ago for a friend.....


You'll never stop caring
I'll never be alone
Knowing you never want to leave
You're not something that comes and goes
You're something that stays no matter what
I would go through hell
To keep what we have
When I feel like giving up
When I feel like I want to cry
There you are
Wanting to help
And if you even can't
You still try
Catch me when I fall
No one really sees why
But that doesn't really matter
You're the only one that I can spill my feelings out to
Sometimes I don't want to talk
But you get it out of me
And make me better some how
You're the only friend
That can make me cry
You're the only person
That makes things better for sure
You make me laugh
When I feel like I've failed
You have the courage to forgive
When I have screwed up
You do way more for me
You deserve way better
I don't understand why you stay
But that's what a best friend is
Someone who is always there
For you, no matter what
If there is one little frown
You stop me and say
"Whats wrong?"
And I say nothing
You look me in the eye
And tell me to stop lying
Only because you want to help
Because you care
And I can't help to think
What life would be like,
How much it would suck
How much I would be lost
If you were never here

Book Cover

Don't ruin my fun.
I'll take your dignity away,
Before you can say no.
Stop thinking you're the ruler.

You won't push me down.
I'll do it to you first.
I'll stand up tall.
And defend myself.

You won't take me down.
And I'm not gonna forget you.
Because you just made,
Another little scar.

Just don't forget.
I may look weak.
But don't judge a book,
By it's cover.

No More Suffering

I'll make sure you see me.
So your heart beat will pound.
And you will remember everything you did,
Everything you said.

You'll hear my name,
In random conversation.
Memories will pop.
And in a second,
Your expression will change.
I'll make you feel,
Morbid, troubled, and heavyhearted.

No more for me,
Can't.
Won't.
I'm gonna be strong.
You're gonna feel,
The hurt you caused me.

Another Day

Just another day where we're fighting.
Just another day when I realize everyone is right.
Just another day,
When I find myself crying at night.

I'm tired of throwing out chances
And I'm tired of forgiving you.
Feeling bad,
And feeling like I should do something,
Is not my place.
It's yours

I've had enough of it.
Just like every other day.
When I'm stressing out to do everything right.
I don't want it to be like just another day.

So I'm letting go.
And pushing away,
From every other ordinary day.